Orcs are Larva

 If you are working and cut your finger and instead of healing that small cut goes sour and you lose that finger we say it was the work of orcu. Barrow blighters. They are the counter part the mockery of men. Where men relish the sunshine and fresh air they only know cold and damp and dark and cruelty. They live in tribes like our peoples, but know neither chieftain nor council, instead 

they wrestle amongst each other perpetually, those who can't defend themselves die, they would rather leave their wounded sick and old. Occasionally one especially strong and cruel orcu is able to whip together a few tribes in to a bloodlust to raid settlements for food or slaves or iron, the on only thing they hate more than each other is creatures which go about in the day.

Speak an archaic version of black tongue which consists only of curses, orders, and words for constructing poisons and their cruel machines of war...they know only nothing of healing or agriculture, but are clever at building cruel machines that belch smoke and dig their slimy wormtunnels deep in the earth, building with stone, of diverting water and toppling fortress walls from below, and laying cruel traps that maim instead of kill, of chains and tools and black vicious blades, they make a crude pig iron, soft so that it bends, or hard as diamond so that it shatters leaving razors in the wound. They do nothing themselves but capture slaves to work for them, preferring to manage and oversee and devise and demand. Dwarves they make overseers, if they don't eat them instead, humans they like for drudge work, no elf has ever been taken a slave for they waste and die within days if placed in chains or locked away.

PLANETOID OF DESPOTISM

 Post-progress society

Three biomes: rocky desert, jungle, tundra.

Choose a planetoid as location. One like Ceres is good.

Planets orbit swings around wildly, with the weakened sun careening through the sky senselessly.

Seasons in chaos, asteroid rain, occasional blow-outs of transdimensional energy resulting from

AI government organized by nanobots keeps humanity from developing tools that could destroy life. Steel minds governed by invariable oath of ahimsa, their hubs spread about the world. Worshiped as wizard-gods in a number of fragmented religions and petty folklore, as the purpose of the millions of minute changes their ectoplasmic sentience effects upon the biome of the dwindling planet is beyond the rudimentary calculations of the human mind. The result of these changes is often in line with the ultimate beneficence to the remaining dregs of humanity as the terrible inhospitality of the barely terraformed micro-planet forces the AIs into an endless series of micro-corrections resembling mercurial inhumanity.

A certain allotment of food is provided from deposit cylinders and most menial labor is performed entirely by robots, nanobot liquiforms, mutants, or voluntarily by humans to have something to do

Shelterpods for living are mostly uncomfortable dumps but free

Free clothing is thermal skintight nano-webbing of various colors. Many wear it under flashier handmade clothes.

 carefully calibrated happiness-to-destruction quotient maintains karmic equilibrium to maximize free time and minimize suffering. nanobot web attempts to maintain its own neutral karma through minimum contamination and efficient use of resources

The basics are provided to all and work is unnecessary unless one chooses to do so. Some gather together in philosophical communes, or spend their lives playing complex social games. Most choose to live simple, minimalist lives tending pleasure-gardens, reading dusty tomes, developing skills, being quiet and contemplative.

A small number live as adventurers. These are the people who would be sociopaths, despots, politicians, capitalists, and generals of our world. Since nobody buys their shit they roam around fucking each other over, causing mayhem, and being chased from calm harmless villages.

An insignificant fraction dedicate them to uncovering the mysteries and histories of the planet. They live in far-flung reaches hiding from the wizard government.

'

Most acute wounds can be cured by healing machines, which reside in temples presided over by priests. Various geases on behalf of their philosophy are required for service. Sometimes they re-construct your body & put you into service as payment. Viral/bacterial disease infections are viewed as necessary for evolution and immune-system training is a common practice. people undertake diseases voluntarily in order to perpetuate evolution and reduce negative karma for others.

Advanced tech lies around everywhere, but the origin and understanding of it is non existent except by the wizards (AI government) or sorcerers (human scientists).

Micro-cults are everywhere, everybody believes something different. wars are fought as sport.

Humans tend to keep their population small. Childbirth is considered holy and women are respected as priestesses.

Style-guide:

How something works is never really explained, or there's a bunch of competing explanations. All this tech is seen from the eyes of an ignorant simpleton. No infodumps.

All paragraphs are 4 sentences or less.

No descriptions. Everything is in terms of verbs and adjectives.

Nothing is what it appears to be.

Weird cultures:

Sherpanthwe believe it is their goal to lead others across the lands, extremely great guides, goal is to die in an adventure

Orfichiums replace all parts of their body with live snakes

Zur-dir men beetle helmets, extremely buff, sexless, hosts for brains in jars

Haltzagog vicious little gray men with slight luck bending. Liver prized as immuno-builder, second brain prized for temporary esp and powerful hallucinations

Most animals are humans genetically modified beyond recognition to replace the desolate ecosystems.

 

Max Bedulenko

 

Making Combat Meaningful

TLDR; I discourage players from just attacking and encourage them to say what their goal in fighting is, so combat is handled like a multi stage puzzle/trap where the various mechanisms are ever in a transient state of being revealed and dissolving.

if my battles don't feel like this i'm failing

 I don't like long drawn out conversations with NPCs. My players rarely go very deep and the times they do I'm often caught off-guard. I do my best world-building secretly, behind a curtain, pouring over old maps and working out complicated historical battles. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my NPCs, but often I think that might be the problem. We only have so many hours to play this game and I know if I let myself go the whole session could become a conversation with one interesting dude who wears a mushroom for a hat, has a fu-man-chu mustache and rides a sapphire lizard.

The players aren't here for that, and I don't like to encourage that kind of play. If you want to have a game that goes deep into lore come smoke cigarettes with me on the porch and play 'draw the map and talk'. This game is about wresting jewels from fiends in subterranean cesspits and making damning deals with petty gods that might actually be some kind of trans-dimensional AI housed in a quivering hunk of meat.

So instead we act out the first bit of the convo, where I introduce the NPC and say what's memorable about them. Then I cut to the point and describe the gist of what's going on in omniscient narrator style. If the players do something cool or interesting I might jump back to first person and act it out, but mostly I want to get to what the game is really about.

A big way that I do this is with combat. I want to invoke a particular style with my combat. You know in old science-fantasy novels, Vance does this a lot but also in the battle at the end of Dune, when the fighting-men come in and just kill guys? They leap up with their swords and blasters and there's three options 1. die, 2. miss, 3. mortally wound. The author starts you out with fifteen fleshed out heroes and kills ten of them by the middle of the book. The heroes generally get one free miss before they are cut down.

So combat is fast, hard, and gritty. I don't waste time on flowery descriptions. I ask what my players are doing and encourage them to make tactical decisions and plan amongst themselves. The monsters are smart -- they're planning too. I play them nearly as smart as I would play my very own PC. I try to gauge how smart the players are and aim just short of that. Of course, it depends on the monster. Ogres are going to hide and jump out to throw big rocks. Goblins are going to skulk, flank, shoot poisoned arrows, and flee at the first sign of trouble. Orcs blitzkrieg suddenly, creating chaos, using hit-and-run tactics, and are most likely to ambush with burning oil and use prisoners as shields. Skeletons hang back and throw stones, and if the players charge they run out of sight and wait to ambush. Zombies march tight formation and fight like a steam-roller of flailing limbs, focusing on grappling armored opponents.

Combat is deadly, monsters are smart. They look for the weak link and strike there. 

But they're also living things themselves. If they see you first they'll hide or get to higher ground. They take pot-shots from a safe distance. They build barricades or set ambushes. If it looks like they can't win in a couple rounds they beat a fighting retreat and re-group.

My player's aren't advanced. Most of them have never played D&D before. I give them lots of warnings upfront to think about the game world as being real--what would you really do. This often has the effect of making them scared. They do what they'd really do. So I usually send some hirelings along to harass and ridicule them when they're being pansies. Nothing gets the players motivated than a potential mutiny four days from civilization. Suddenly they all turn into dictators. So that's how that happens.

Combat almost never lasts more than three or four rounds because things are always moving. Each round is a pick or push "the monsters are doing this what are you going to do to stop them?"

They're moving to flank you guys, they have bows. You see more coming around the corner.

The wizard starts casting a spell. The magic-user says he thinks it's a fireball. His warriors move into phalanx position, there's no clear shot.

The troll grabs the hobbit and hoists him up into the air. He moves to shove the hobbit into his mouth where he'll start taking automatic damage if you don't stop it.

the orcs are chasing you, hurling spears. The attacks are at a -2 because of the chaos, they all miss, but it's pushing you towards the ledge--in a moment you'll be driven into a corner if you don't think fast.

The wizard launches his fireball--into the pillar, knocking it clean down. The room starts to rumble, bricks are falling from the ceiling. They'll start to fall on you guys next round if you don't figure out how to protect yourselves.

I encourage the players to push back. They talk amongst themselves and come up with a loose plan, or some of them go rogue and start acting on their own. 

I clarify with them and state repercussions: "so you guys are moving back, trying to hide behind the pillars, the fighters are trying to draw attention to themselves -- okay it works, the goblins are going for the fighters with their daggers drawn, the melee will be met next round but it's eight goblins against two, what now?"

But I give them a chance to change their decision once they start to see what might happen:

thief: "I want to run to help him"
me: "Okay so you run over to him and start lifting him up, but he's wearing platemail so he's heavy. The troll sees you and he's there in a bound, lifting his club to strike"
thief: "wait, shit i forgot--I thought I'd just be able to drag him away, I want to run to the door instead"
me: "Okay, so you wanna leave the fighter there and run away like a coward, well the troll sees him and lumbers over"
thief: "shit, sorry dude!"
fighter: "I hate you."

I warn the players when they put themselves in danger. When they come up with a plan, I tell them what might go wrong, or what the monsters will see, or what they're thinking. If they say they want to do something, and doing it won't really change anything, I just say they do it and tell them nothing changes. Or I push back.

team: "we want to try and run up and scare the ogre to see if he'll topple off the cliff"
me: "you all run up screaming, waving your swords. the ogre looks down. he smiles. you can taste his breath. he's not scared at all."
team: "we should run away."
me: "you run. he chases you. he's much faster. you can either make it to the bridge or duck off down the corridor. what now?"
thief:"let's go to the door."
fighter:"no, go across the bridge. I'll cut the ropes and try to swing across."
mage: "you're a fucking idiot"
me:"you can do it fighter, but you'll have to make a saving throw vs paralysis to see if you survive"
fighter:"fuck it, i'm doing it, i only have 1 hp anyway"
thief:"if you die i'm building a statue in town for you. if you live i'm going to shit on your chest while you're asleep"
fighter: "yeehaw! bitches! I rolled a 17!"

and I don't pull punches. We use d6s for health and hits. I roll damage and attacks in the open, where the player's know it's not me. That means you can take maybe one hit per HD. You feelin' lucky punk?

dm: "you're surrounded by bandits with crossbows. the bandit leader has the wiseman around the neck. he says 'give us the gold!'. Honestly, if you can't think a good way out of this you're probably fucked"
fighter:"I tell the bandit leader no fuck you and I try to cut his head off"
dm: "are you sure? you've got like a dozen crossbows pointed at you. you could try something else."
thief: "dude, what are you doing."
fighter: "no fuck him, he's a asshole. I stab his face."
dm: "throw your attack then"
fighter: "4 I miss"
dm: "he parries your blade easily. the bandits all fire the crossbows you knew they were pointing at your face. That's twelve attacks." *clatter* "you get hit six times for 23 damage"
fighter: "avenge me!"
mage: "fuck that we run"
thief: "can i steal his magic sword before we go?"
dm: "if you're willing to risk three of the crossbowers getting free shots at you."
thief: "nevermind."

The question is what are you willing to risk?

We don't show up to the table to throw dice. How many games have you done this?:
*clatter* a miss
*clatter* a miss
*clatter* a miss
*clatter* you hit
*clatter* one damage

Fuck that. If nothing is happening, why are we rolling? When you miss, you fail. Something changes. The attack doesn't just miss, it fails. You lose something. The enemy advances, or re-positions, or you put yourself in a bad position. Another element is added to the combat. It isn't about tracking squares on a game-board, it's about tracking an ever unfolding situation.

On the other hand if the players come out with a great plan, act confidently, make it fun, or do something interesting or unexpected, they gain the advantage. If they surprise me, the world itself it surprised. If the players fight smart I'll force the monsters to make a morale check even if there haven't been casualties. The monsters can tell when they're outmatched. They don't want to fight--they want and EASY target. The sick, small, and old antelope are the ones that get eaten. Most monsters are merely territorial. They'll fight to defend their thing, but they'd rather run away and save their own skins. This is especially true with chaotic monsters, like orcs and ogres. Lawful monsters like hobgoblins are more likely to stay on account of social conduct and expectations. Monsters are even worse than the worst parts of humanity. They're cruel and clever but stupid and mean and selfish and greedy. Selfish first, greedy second, clever third, and cruel when they have the edge.

dm: "the goblines come up, they've got their hands raised, one is waving a white flag"
thief: "i throw the camphene bomb."
fighter: "hell yeah"
cleric: "they're surrendering."
fighter: "i shoot my crossbow."
dm: "you guys are attacking?"
cleric: "this is fucked up."
mage: "I throw my dagger."
me: "okay, they totally weren't expecting this. Roll against AC 9"
*dice are resolved, most of the attacks hit*
me: "ok, you murderate the fuck out of the goblins. they're all dead. do you search the bodies?"
fighter: "yeah, i want my money back"
me: "you find they're armed with poisoned daggers. they were going to trick you and stab you in the back when they had the chance."
fighter: "an ambush!"
cleric: "good job guys."
thief: "no thanks to you."

If it all fails, let the dice fall. If they choose not to heed your warnings, they suffer the consequences. You told them the danger. You even offered alternatives. "swinging on the vine is super dangerous, the other option is to slide down the hill into the water, but that might slow you down." You were up-front and worked with them. Sometimes their plans work out. Sometimes they die horribly.

If your combats are long and drawn out, try implementing some ideas here. That's why you're a REFEREE. You're fair-ish, sort of impartial, and mostly chaotic neutral. The more you act as the eyes and ears and common sense of the players, however twisted, blind, and stupid they are, the meaner and more vicious the world can be in return. If the players have a good idea about their odds, what exactly the risk is, they can make worse decisions. Try to make every single one of those decisions count. Encourage that behavior. Because the payout is worth it.

Gaming With Kids 2: My Kid Does the Gygax 75 Challenge

I prompted my oldest daughter to write her own dungeon. She's nine. I ran her through a game of a few sessions, and she's watched us play D&D once, but mostly just listened to me talk about it. Until this point she'd never run her own game. I suggested she draw it on graph paper, and make a key listing the contents of each room. I didn't give her any more help than that because I was curious to see what she would come up with on her own. I gave her no guidance on how to structure a dungeon, nothing on how to stock a dungeon, and no guidance on reaction checks, traps, difficulty, or anything else.

In short order she wrote two floors and ran me through it. She'd never DM'd before. I helped by knowing the rules, reminding her when to roll wandering monster checks, and offering suggestions for how to resolve certain things (eg, rolling 1-in-6 to find the right stone to open a secret door).

The rules we used were a loose primitive mash-up of old school because that's what is in my head. I scribbled out a page, front and back, for her to reference if she wanted to, but told her to use her own judgement. I've got the Moldvay stat bonus spread memorized, so I threw 3d6 straight and ended up with a 7HP  Fighter named Silverlight who wielded the long sword called Bright-Blaze, wearing chainmail and equipped with your standard grognard dungeoneering equipment.

I feel comfortable taking a picture of the first floor
since I explored most of it.

I strike up my torch and enter through the staircase at the top left. I took the east branching path and came to what is labeled room 1, which had a pool of fresh blood in the center of it (empty room!). I smelled it to see if I could discern what species the blood belonged to, it was human. She offered that it was likely the blood of another adventurer (adjudicated!). Unperturbed, I proceed to listen and tried the handles of both doors. One was locked, one was stuck. No sounds came from either, so I kicked the stuck one open only to discover both doors led to the same corridor (trick!). At the end of the corridor I heard a gruff, angry voice.

This is the exchange we had:
"Who goes there?"
"It is I, Silverlight of the Lands of Men!"

"Why do you enter our lair?"

"I come in search of treasure and glory, now who are you?"
"None of your business! Leave this place before you die!"

Not one to be threatened by a disembodied voice I drew my sword and quickly rounded the corner. I discovered a goblin in red. I asked her to describe the goblin and she said "He's 7 feet tall, purple, and covered in hair with a mean face". Impressed and more than a little intimidated, I pressed on.

"Is that a threat or a promise, foul one?"
"I will kill you!"
"Small chance! Who else lives here? Speak quickly and do not lie!"
"The goblins! This is our dungeon!"
"Fine--Then take me to your treasure, fiend!"

"No!"

"Then prepare to meet my steel!"

The goblin landed a solid hit on me, dealing 3 damage. I pressed on. After a volley of misses I finally connected with two hits and killed the beast. I searched his body, finding a ring of goblin royalty and a few gold. Pocketing the treasures continued north up along the passage to a shut door. I thrust it open and found a tiny, bare room. I assumed the western wall was a secret door, so I searched it and discovered that I had to roll a d6 until I discovered the correct stone to open it.

Once through the secret door I headed sound and kicked open the next stuck door where I was met by a bevy of horrible hissing spiders! Venom dripped from their fangs. I slammed the door shut and sprinted back to the secret door to escape only to find that I had to select the correct stone again! The spiders didn't pursue, so I produced a flaming oil bomb and torched them.

I went to explore the room they guarded, but it was full of cobwebs I couldn't cut with my sword. I employed fire again and removed them. This room had a series of smaller rooms branching off of it. In one was a beautiful garden where I met a rather rude gnome. Using my best manners I was able to befriend it, and he gave me some magical seeds.

In another room I found a caged owl. After talking for a bit I freed the owl who offered to help me find treasure if I offered to help avenge him against the goblins who captured him. He said he was a messenger from the Lion King.

In the next room I found a bed. Underneath the bed was a ring. I took it.

I kicked open the door to room 5 and found a bunch of snarling wolves ready to attack! I entered combat with them and was able to defeat all three. I searched their bodies and discovered one wore a bracelet with the symbol of the Lion King on it!

I think she had kind of written herself into a corner at this point, or all the improvising was wearing thing, because what happened with the wolves made little sense. The owl was pissed at me for killing the wolves because the wolves work with the lion king, which made them the owl's friend, but he didn't warn me of that when they attacked me. BUT they also work for the goblins, which would make them the owls enemy? Anyway, the owl chastised me before vanishing into thin air and leaving me alone in the dungeon.


There were further adventures, but I won't detail them here. I was quite surprised and pleased by how she made and ran it all in under an hour. She made lots of twisting, branching paths connected by rooms of difference sized, interspersed with secret doors. She's seen dungeons I've drawn in the past but otherwise came up with this all on her own. She had empty rooms, tricks, surprises, traps, and even some hidden treasures and battles. She adjudicated and improvised all very well. I saw her key for the rooms which were comprised of things such as:

5. wolves
6. bed (invisibilite ring)
7. gnome
8. owl

###

She hasn't worked on it much since that game. The other day when we were short on time for our language arts class (we homeschool) I told her, instead of her normal work, to write a paragraph about the area around her dungeon, naming the area around and what's special about it. Here's what she wrote:

"The ckave is a Dungeon, a vary Dangangris Dungeon. A vilig is nere The Ckave. The Ckave is srawide in foriste. In The Ckave are Vary dangangris crechrs! The foristets name is The moving foriste. The resin it is coolde that is beicas the trees tolcke, moove, and are alive!"

A great start at worldbuilding. Now all we need is a map, a wandering monster table, a description of the town, and some named NPCs!

She has a friend that wants to start playing too. Her friend can't read yet. I'm thinking about giving them a print out of the Holmes rules and seeing what comes out of it.