Sunday, June 30, 2019

All about fairies

Everybody wants fairies, the subsecret blackmarket catalyst for all kinds of horrible people getting their way.

Fairies are small & potent magic. Oftentimes captured and held in bottles to be used later. Fairies desire FREEDOM and being held in a jar for them is like being buried in a coffin for you. They'll do anything to get out, even grant minor wishes. Their magic is contingent on their freedom which is why captured fairies are powerless to escape and need someone bigger to free them.

Fairies are cute and sweet and gentle on the surface and totally fucked up and manipulative on the inside. Secret lore: it's impossible to be friends with a fairy. They're really just biding their time to fuck you over. The longer they wait the more they secretly hate you and want you dead. They'll wait around until justthe right moment then turn the dirt under your left toe to water, causing you to tumble off a precarious ledge.

So really, you shouldn't feel bad when you squeeze out fairy guts into your mouth like candy from a sausage casing to get your spell slots back for the day. They're kinda assholes.

Everybody uses fairies if they can get them, which is nearly impossible (plenty of wizards have tried to automate the process, to the greater or lesser suffering of all life).
Goblins use fairies to grow into ogres for 2d12 minutes. Dwarves expend fairies to get a boost of creativity. Orcs use fairies to appear as normal humans and sneak into castles. Wizards use fairies to get a nefarious edge on their rivals, who are likewise using fairies as expiremental fuel sources for trans-demonsional portholes.
Plucky halfling adventurers in green tunics use fairies to heal their wounds.

Where did fairies come from? Fairies are to elves as dogs are to humans. They've always been together. Elves brought fairies to this plane with them as they fled their collapsing dimension. Fairy abuse is just as taboo in elf culture as it is for dogs in ours, but the reality is (just like our's) most of them have really fucked up ways of using fairies.

You know, like how most people keep their dogs, who are freedom and exercise loving play machines, trapped in their houses or chained up, never getting as much attention as they really need, never being properly trained or allowed to follow their instincts in a healthy directed way. Elves kind of treat fairies like that. But they get super mad when they see YOU doing it.

But it doesn't matter because elves suck.

(More on elves next time).

So fairies give PCs access to minor wishes or healing. They're about as rare as +1 magic swords in most OTHER people's games which means they're kinda common. It's like the default OOOSHINY treasure. If somebody finda out you have a fairy they'll try to steal it from you. Nobody's immune. Everybody wants something, even if its pure and selfless, it's probably also asking for wreck and ruin. Widows will steal to get their husbands back, amputees to get their limbs back, children to get some stupid trinket they want, assholes to inflict suffering on people they dislike, priests to make parishioners pay attention in mass, old ladies to bake nice cakes, hobgoblins to stop every human heart in a 5 mile radius.

Each fairy has a morale score of 2d6. Roll under for friendship over for mayhem. Every time somebody is a dick to the fairy reduce their morale by one. Nothing raises a fairy's morale because fairies dont want anything except for you to immediately set it free and ask nothing in return.

When somebody makes a wish on a fairy make a morale check. If you roll over they might grant the wish with a condition, warp the meaning, or add some other kind of magical mayhem mishap or mutation. Like, you get your sight back, but also your head is now a fly's head lolbye.

If you roll under the fairy just does it and its all cool. Then it disappears in a puff of glitter.

As stated before eating fairyguts straight from their neckhole, yknow by wringing them into your mouth tongue sticking out like a rag of neon koolaid, heals you completely and restores all your spell slots. 1 in d12 chance the fairy got off a last wish that does something horrible to you.

Wild fairies are proud and tribal and can often be reasoned with. They are hesitant to use their powers to help you, but will often trade useful information or rumors for seemingly mundane or benign things, like a dram of saltwater, a small crystal, a silver spoon, a bit of smoked meat, a brass screw, or worse, something that isn't yours to trade, like a lock of the local cowmaiden's hair, or a buzzard's whisper.

Elven outposts tend to be surrounded by fairywoods, places where fairies are freed to playfully wreak havoc. If you wander into a fairywood reality will bend and warp, subtly at first, growing more extreme the more attention you bring to yourself until ice catches fire, the stars wink out, the directions vanish, all sound becomes color, and standing still is the same as moving. This is why it's impossible to reach an elven settlement without powerful magic or an invitation.

Fast dungeon design for lazy people

If you get stuck consult the I-Ching



1. Steal, scrawl , or randomly generate a map. Look at it, does anything jump out? Write it down. Roll some dice on fun tables and riff off a couple o things.

2. Come up with d6 factions or d4 monster infestations that inhabit the place. How do they relate to each other? What are the major resources they're using there?

3. Generate various other critters that might be there. Start considering what various (d8?) locations might have been/currently be for. Bonus points if they don't make sense.

4. Outside of the "tribal stronghold" area, key some monsters using random tables. Place a few according to some idea you've got so far. Let weird combos arise and guide you toward interesting design choices.

5. Once the inhabitants are here figure out what stuff looks like based on who lives where/what they're doing. Giant centipedes might live in cavernous areas with glowing fungus and dark interconnected pools, Cockatrices build nests on high walls using bones and their tarlike saliva.

6. Add treasure they like. Orcs might purposefully hoard cool stuff, giant spiders might have forsaken adventurer's gear in websacs.



7. Doors/secret rooms/stairs/traps/tricks...........

8. Once you have a rough draft make a second draft rearranging anything new you thought up.

9. You should have a mostly empty dungeon splattered with coolstuff here and there, and some idea about how all the coolstuff relates to itself. Fill in all the extra rooms by rolling dice or using percentages

1-2 monster (33%)
3 trap (16%)
4 special (16%)
5-6 empty (33%)

3in6 monsters have treasure (50%)
2in6 traps have treasure (33%)
1in6 empty rooms have treasure (16%)

You want enough treasure so that a Fighter could get to the next level TIMES the number of expected players (TIMES 0.8 for 80%, if you're giving XP from defeated monsters but I don't), then take that number and double it because your players aren't going to find everything. Hide the extra half in stupid places they'll never look.

THUS a Fighter needs 2000XP to get to level 2. Using this formula a first level dungeon will have about 128,000 GP worth of treasure in it. But only 6,400 worth will be laying around in the open or on monsters waiting to be found. The other 6,400 will be hidden in secret walls, inside paintings of opulent feasts, buried in the sand, hidden in statues that try to bite off your hand, or tucked inside rotting elephant carcasses.

If you're considering giving XP for collecting magic items you're on your own. I consider magic items to be something else, and most of them come with a cost.

10. Look at nearby levels and determine what may or may not happen when the players intervene. Leave what actually happens up to play, but it's good to have a general idea of the mechanations within the loose naturalism.

11. Keep notes during play, re-populate accordingly.

I'm working on some Abulafia generators for making interesting treasures, rooms, and traps. Most random dungeon generators just spit out boring stuff (10000cp, a trap where a pit opens up with spikes, every room has cobwebs and manacles). I'm a fucking cyborg and I like to get random generator gibberish to feel out things. I'd rather paint on hewn bark than clean canvas.



Idea for treasures: generate some GP values like 3d8xdungeon level+player level, do that for d% of the rooms each. Hide treasures equal to the GP value in each room. If you roll a maxval on a room make it a special magic treasure.



I-Ching gibberish for dungeons:

Line 4:

Progressing like a Five Skills Rat.
Persistence is dangerous.
Trying to progress without the ability to do everything that is needed. Going on may get one into trouble.
(It is said of the Five Skills Rat, that:
It can fly, but it cannot go past a roof,
It can climb, but it cannot do an entire tree,
It can swim, but it cannot cross a ditch,
It can dig, but it cannot conceal its body,
It can run, but it cannot before a man.)

Sounds like a PC

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Subvault dungeon

I'm trying to draw up more dungeons as a creative exercise because my brain is numb and I forget things easily and also I get depressed when I don't sit by myself somewhere and frantically scribble in a notebook. It's just gotta be that way OKAY???

I don't care for dungeons with tons of detail. It's too much crap to sift through and my brain doesn't work that way. I like when dungeons imply that something is there, but doesn't really show you, so you can daydream about it and fill in the stuff on your own. Like paint by numbers but with blood and swords.

This heap of forgotten trash is called the SubVault of the Wandering Plague. Is the wandering plague you? Is it the monsters? Is there some rampant disease barely contained within? Hoho! Play on to find out!

The room descriptions are intended to be evocative rather than perscriptive. The idea here is that I puke out what I think is cool and if someone else can harvest anything from it all the better. A loose attempt at dungeon ecology is made but a creative person with a wee bit of drive can probably find loads of stufff in there. The theoretical GM would need to interpret a lot and do some actual preperation (gasp!) before running this. At least enough to know what the fuck is going on. With that in mind I've also provided a number of tables which fill in the blanks. What's in this room? What goodies were the baboons hiding? Can I use this to kill stuff? All the important questions.

The SubVault is a small branch of the Undervoid colonized by batmen and lizardmen from nearby sectors. They really don't like each other but life goes on. Both have enslaved pit gnomes just as nature intended. Shroom goblins also have a habitat here, living in synthesis with the native orb spiders.

Also there's deeper remnants of this sector's past. A train station, an abandoned research facility, a reservoir. The new denizens are using this stuff for their own ends, but they don't comprehend it. There's some giants living to the southwest. They've live here a long, long time. They're sick of living. They stay because there's a fire demon trying to escape and they don't know what else to do but try to keep it at bay. They're about ready to give up.



Tune in tomorrow for more I think

RANDOM ENCOUNTERS
1. shroom goblins
2. lizardmen
3. batmen
4. pit gnomes
5. corrosive jelly
6. orb spiders
7. golem of skulls
8. rival adventuring party!

WHAT ARE THEY DOING??
1. Lost & aggressive
2. starving/hunting
3. hauling loot
4. arguing
5. fleeing from....
6. signing a truce
7. exploring
8. carrying wounded
9. eating a............
10. fighting..........

BONUS ROUND
1. knows where the good stuff is
2. willing to trade
3. knows the way
4. secretly diseased
5. one of them is a wizard
6. maybe royalty
7. hiding something??
8. traitors
9. captured a fairy
10. doomed grandiose plan

SMALL TREASURES
1. brass trinkets w  sequins
2. slightly rusty tools
3. dead body
4. a gem of minor value
5. weapon cache!
6. chains/rope/pulleys
7. torches/lamp oil
8. a bomb
9. is this food?
10. elegant heavy furniture
11. sinful and hedonistic art
12. tastelessly opulent clothes
13. exotic medicinal herbs
14. ritual stuff (silver, incense, monkey paw...)
15. orb spidersilk (weave w moonwool to make mythril)
16. poison (roll fav tables)
17. potion (as above)
18. ring (only barely cursed)
19. wand (d6 charges)
20. amulet(does it do anything?)

CONDITION roll this table for any reason (utility of plan, state of treasure, safety of bridge)
1. garbage
2. workable
3. good.
4. FANCY
5-6 roll again/stolen>>1. magic 2. owner wants it back 2-6 valuable

DANGERS!!!
1. fire
2. ice
3. water
4. collapsing
5. needles
6. gas
7. teleporter
8. biohazard
9. undead
10. cursed
11. sunken
12. vorpal
13. pitfall
14. siren
15. makeshift
16. fortification
17. diseased
18. illlusory
19. WarZone
20. roll twice

GOOD STUFF
1. healing
2. ESP
3. truesight
4. blink
5. float
6. enchanted
7. talking
8. shapeshifting
9. blessing
10. expensive
11. growing
12. hiding
13. glowing
14. edible
15. finding
16. muting
17. shaking
18. telekenisis
19. purifying
20. roll twice!

Treasure Form
1. jewelry
2. equipment
3. weapons
4. armor
5. art
6. clothes
7. monsterparts
8. ancient/lost/lore
9. books
10. artifacts
11. really big
12. really small
13. portal
14. container
15. vial
16. rod
17. energy
18. ghostly
19. tech
20. map to cache

Trap form
1. pressure plate/tripwire
2. machine
3. alter/bookcase
4. chest
5. door
6. statue
7. puzzle (free roll on any tables!)
8. liquid
9. wall
10. orb/light/gate
11. furniture/artifact
12. pile of dead bodies

Trap activation/shutoff
1. lift
2. lever/switch/button
3. transmute
4. given
5. eyes
6. lose
7. center
8. knock
9. look
11. voice
12. blood
13. flood
14. smash
15. heat
16. light
17. spirit
18. magic
19. intent
20. dreams

special--the hidden way through
1. trapdoor
2. ladder
3. chute
4. alcove
5. tunnel
6. teleporter
7. bag
8. door
9. vault
10. temple

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Wrasslin Owlbears

Grappling is fun. Jump on the dude and pull 'em to the ground, strangle the life out. Just like Conan! RAAWWGGHH BODYSLAAAMMM!! Like everything else in life people try to overly complicate grappling rules. I like my gameplay simple and decisive. If you put yourself at risk to accomplish a goal your success has to be worth the danger. I try to encourage players to do things other than just say "I stab his face". You gotta make the mechanics just as simple as attack rolls. Saves are good for everything.

A strength check is enough--how does your strength compare to their strength? Maybe if the other guy is big enough they could get a size bonus, but who really cares? How much fun would it be for the halfling with 18 strength to strangle an ogre to death? We know from the fiction that he couldn't choke out a black dragon but I'm willing to be lenient in certain cases for rule of cool.

If they want to strangle an unsuspecting victim unconscious they'll probably automatically succeed if they pass the check, especially if they're using a garrote. Regular combat is too granular to go straight to auto-shotting dudes while grappling, so mostly its about restraining a foe, and yourself at the same time while both combatants struggle for supremacy. If you wanna try to throttle them after grappling they take d4 damage on proceeding turns. You can't grapple someone and stab them with something bigger than a dagger at the same time.

A PC with a martial arts background could probably do more with hand-to-hand combat than others. If a Tanner cum lvl 1 fighter wants to throw sick high kicks he'll just  fall on his face.

The danger is here: If you fail your save it puts you at a disadvantage. Oftentimes this means the grappler becomes the grapplee, or gets knock prone, or thrown off a cliff, or gets sucker punched in the tussle. Depending on what system I'm running getting attacked while defenseless could mean a bonus damage die, damage taking the next die size up, or jumping straight to critical damage. If two PCs are holding a monster while the third stabs it in the face the fight is probably over. This goes both ways: monters can and do use the most of the grappling mechanics.

Wizlock--magically bind someone's wrists together after touching them. Can be broken with a strength check Vs caster's Int.

Pile-d-d-driver--after grappling an opponent bodyslam them on the following turn. 1HD monsters are instantly killed. All others take d12 damage and are knocked prone for d4 turns.