So I decided to run a quick game on the discord, thinking there should be more low stakes 'just for fun' mess around games on the server. There's a lot of hijinks you can get into in an hour! We tossed around some ideas and decided to run Knave. I had a half-finished dungeon that was burning a hole in my brain, but i couldn't locate the file, so I generated a random dungeon on Donjon and familiarized myself with it while the players rolled up theirs characters.
I don't enjoy reading other people's play reports, because I find them tedious. This is my attempt to write one I would want read (short, snappy, not getting bogged in deets)
ALL CLUTCH, XX NO FUDGE
 |
| pretty much like this |
THE CAST:
Osse > Odio, Chaotic Peregrine, spear, gambeson, helmet PROPER PREPARED
Feirsteax > Asgelasgus the Wizard, INT 15 cultist, mutilated, neutral, Spells: raise dead, masquerade. the only one that can read
DustyHalo > Joris of Boris, neutral, ropeless whelp (pullies, grappling hook, no rope)
Taha > xáos!!!11! brigandine, helmet, spear, perfume A BAD DUDE WITH A MEAN TUDE
MARCHING ORDER
Single:
Osse
Feirsteax
DustyHalo
Taha
Double:
Osse, Taha
Dusty, Feirsteax
SET UP: Party locked into terrible death pits for crimes they may or may not have committed, dungeon extends all over Domzwolek. Left to fair as they will or die trying to escape in the name of justice.
Bottom of stairs, two paths. Listening: Stinky & dripping one way, quite 'nother. Follow the quiet around windy passage.
Find door w/ fanged face near handle - poke with spear CHOMP! Acid fangs. Open door. Medium room w/ rubble. N stone door w satyr, s plain wood door, e 2x2 ft portcullis tunnel.
Osse climbs in small tunnel, finds niches w baby skeleton, rummages and finds 9 gold & gem. Explores further, spooky eyes in hole. Backs out, party uses rubble and tar to brick up portcullis.
As their working orcs come in thru north stone door. Party makes a bunch of bold attacks and runs them off in one round. Routed! Joris/Dusty makes a parting shot and kills 'nother.
Follow the fleeing orcs into next room, they disappear into secret door. Party starts exploring the room. it's so big their noises echo. Asgelasgus/Feirsteax sees a worn out old mural and stars contemplating it. Orcs return thru secret door w their buddies and start hurling jars of oil. Party wins initiative and makes some smart attacks, Bow and Spear, Asgelasgus hurls dagger in the midst of studying wall. orcs fall dropping torches & oil, incinerating themselves.
 |
| Not pictures: lots of groin shots |
Asgalasgus finishes inspecting mural, finds this:
Giant froglike mawed creature with whirling razor teeth, people being hurled from ramparts of castle into maw, shredded like garbage disposal, limbs and blood everyhere, but their spirits are flying up to heaven where a giant with a smiling sun face is peaking out, welcoming them into his arms. He recognizes it as a mural dedicated to the Dawnbringer, the most popular religion in Domzwolek. Being a cultist he is disgusted by the heretical sun god religion and spits on the mural.
someone said: "if only i could be so grossly incandescent"
Party crosses over charred corpses into an even HUEGER room, truly cavernous. Joris of Boris finds refuse, old cooking fires, piles of rotting furs. Inside is a letter, gives it to Asgalasgus to read. and I quote:
"To my dearest. Please accept this small token of our love. One day I will return to you." within is a ring w red gem. Asgalasgus puts it on, feels a spring breeze rush over him, followed by a warm glow of nastolgia, followed by a hollow emptiness which remains. "Nope, not magical ... I'll just hang on to it"
Next party inspects rope hanging from ceiling which leads up to mezzanine. Joris helps Odio/Osse climb up rope. boot crunch on mezzanine, no torch - can't see. Joris ties lit torch to rope, Odio carefully pulls it up.
Floor littered w bones. Two statues flanking a sarcophagus of black metal. One gold the other silver. Both statues of babes with bat wings holding swords. Odio tries taking a sword from silver but hand freezes to it. Thinking quickly Asgalasgus takes off the ring and puts it on Odio - the warmth thaws his hand and he releases. Joris uses their pick to push the sword out of the hand of gold and picks it up w/ strip of cloth. Warm, brandishing it releases sparks. Touches the two swords together CRAASHHHH!! Barely makes a dex save to avoid melting along with the swords - puddles cool into hard sheets, one silver one gold.
Next check out sarcophagus. Asgalasgus recognizes evil runes as undead language. Team tries to open Sarcophagus. black mist erupts out MUHAHAHA FOOLISH MORTALS
A VAMPIRE EMERGES! lucky shot knocks him against gold statue - burns his flesh! Party gets lucky with good initiative rolls throughout fight, but quickly find out their mundane attacks do nothing. Vampire backhands Taha's head off, which goes bouncing around the room like the ball in Arkanoid, slumps to the ground.
YOU DIED
Asgalasgus casts raise dead to make a skeleton but vampy takes control of it and sends it back at him. Asgalasgus distracts skeleton while Odio makes valiant effort to shove vampire into statue again but he's rooted in place.
Joris tries to get gold disc to hurl at vampire but slips and knocks the wind out of themself w a fumble. Odio winds up for another shove, but vampire backhands him, nearly kiling him, but not quite.
Asgalasgus uses masquerade to turn into copy of vampire and commands skeleton to 'attack the imposter!' stupid skeleton is duped and goes after vampy w harmless swipes - mundane attack. Vampire is distracted by the ploy and loses initiative
Odio tries to make a save to get up and shove vampire again, but fails and collapses onto sarcophagus to hold himself up. sees something glint inside. Joris spends their turn slowly collecting themselves. Asgalasgus dives into sarcophagus to retrieve the thing, smooshing his face and lips all over a nasty mummy body. a silver dagger shaped like one of the sexy bat-winged ladies! def magic as fuck.
vampire goes DBZ mode and backhands Odio killing him,
YOU DIED then punches the skeleton, bones flying everywhere with a crash like a bowling strik
YOU reDIED?
Asgalasgus goes to town swiping at vampire w magic dagger, but vamp is teleporting away from the attacks like instant transmission. Joris calmly picks up gold puddle throws it like a discus at the vamp, who just happens to teleport away at the last second. Vamp teleports behind Asgalasgus, grabs him & BITES sucking out most his life and healing from the earlier burns. While vamp is busy stucking out Asgalasguses' juices, Joris runs up, grabs the dagger, and stabs it into the vampire's brain. Vampire reels back, spraying black mist and shrieking.
Vampire says 'enough fooling around! Time to show you my true form!' starts transforming, face becomes beastial, giant bat wings erupt from his back, his limbs grow long and lanky, body covered in fur.
Asgalasgus comes to, grabs gold puddle and smashes it against vampire. More burning and shrieking! Vampire down to 16hp. Vampire makes attack stabs with knife hand spearing Asgalasgus straight through the chest, heart stuck on end of claws, pulls heart back through and bites it like an apple.
YOU DIED
Joris of Boris the ropeless whelp is last one standing, takes knife and dives behind statue to hide. Vampire pops around 'BOO!' Joris tries to stab him but vamp teleports behind them, tries to give 'em the same knife hand that did in Asgalasgus but vamp fumbles! Joris rolls aside and vamp's knife hand spears into the statue, which freezes him in place and starts burning him terribly. Vamp starts trying to rip arm off to escape.
Joris makes sneak attack on unaware vamp, C-C-C-CRITICAL HIT with the magical vampire-killing dagger, right in the heart. Spewing black smoke vampire melts into puddle of ectoplasmic goo, destroyed with a weapon designed just for him.
WOO HOO! Joris of Boris glows up! A part of level 1 adventurers managed to kill a vampire!
Here's the loot Joris recieved (rolled on vampire treasure table):
a piece of jewelry worth 900gp
4 pieces of jewelry worth 1000gp each
a piece of jewelry worth 1600gp
a piece of jewelry worth 1700gp
a piece of jewelry worth 1800gp
a piece of jewelry worth 2000gp
a piece of jewelry worth 3000gp
a piece of jewelry worth 4000gp
a piece of jewelry worth 6000gp
a piece of jewelry worth 8000gp
a piece of jewelry worth 9000gp
Potion of Human Control
Curse Scroll: Transportation 1,000 miles, random direction
Curse Scroll: Transportation to another planet
Scroll of Protection: Undead
Spell Scroll (Protection/Evil, )
 |
| Pictured: Dusty messin up this vampire real quick |
Here's the fanfares:
Osse: Holy shit you guys actually did it, what a knock down drag out slugfest!
DustHalo: we did it
Taha: Hail Joris o'Boris!
Vilecult: the 99th level welp
Osse: it'll be like going from Gothic 2 to Gothic 3, a paradigm shift glowup
joris in the first adventure? dumped into a dungeon left to get smoked
joris in the second adventure? dumping *us* into the dungeon to get smoked
Feirsteax yea insane critcal fumble on the part of the vampire saved us only joris made it out alive
DustyHalo: he thrust through Asgelasgus and pulled out their heart before I hid behind the statue and waited for them to come at me, then they rolled a 1 and got stuck in the statue before I was able to drive the magic dagger into their heart and slay them
had like 9 health and hit them with 10
8 HD, 27hp, AC 17
Str 17/+7
Bite: Stun, d6 life drain per round
Treasure Table F
Thanks for the great game, vile. That skeleton and his dumb antics had me in stitches. And all the players were willing to dive head first into danger which was awesome too.
ReplyDeleteI hope ppl on the server play more weird one-shots in the future!